


The St. Louis Con

by cloakoflife, JennySmithInTARDIS



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Collaboration, Conventions, Crack, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hogwarts Houses, Inappropriate questions, Married Couple, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6452605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloakoflife/pseuds/cloakoflife, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JennySmithInTARDIS/pseuds/JennySmithInTARDIS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Georgia manages to convince David and Billie to get payback on fans that ask inapropriate questions at conventions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The St. Louis Con

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cloakoflife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloakoflife/gifts).



> Given a general audiences rating, yet does contain a little bit of swearing. 
> 
> Thank you to my lovely co-author cloakoflife!
> 
> This was inspired by the St. Louis convention yesterday where David and Billie thought a fan was asking them to make out.
> 
> Disclaimer-- just as in any RPF, all people are treated as FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. This extends to the girl asking the question. She is a character in a story and no offence is meant towards her personally.

David had seemed off all day and Georgia just couldn’t quite put her finger on why. He should be elated as he usually was when getting ready for a convention. Yet, today, he didn’t bounce around and share excited giggles, instead, he stomped about, throwing things carelessly into a suitcase with a straight mouth and narrowed eyes. David had even snapped at Georgia earlier  in the day, which was extremely unlike him. They very rarely had rows, especially not over something as silly as the washing up.

        Georgia pulled on some yellow washing up gloves, deciding to get the job done herself. _Sod the miserable bastard,_ she thought. At that precise moment, David waltzed into the room and wrapped his arms, lovingly around his wife’s waist.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into her soft blonde hair.

“It’s fine,” she said, softening immediately under his caress, “but what on Earth has gotten into you today?” Georgia questioned, turning to face David. She placed her hands firmly on his shoulders to keep him close and looked him straight in the eye, a pretty pout upon her lips.

“It’s just these conventions, Geor. I love them, I really do… but, there are just some silly questions that are _always_ asked and I just don’t think I can deal with them right now. I don’t know if Billie can either.”

“What questions are these then?”

“Well they always want to ask about you, which isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just we try so hard to be private. But it does get a little tedious. Then there’s always one person that says something inappropriate. Like, asking me and Bills to kiss… I just don't want things to get uncomfortable. We both find it so awkward.”

Georgia hummed in understanding and gave David a little peck on the cheek. She truly did hate seeing him this way.

“Don’t worry too much, hun. Billie’s a big girl, she can handle herself. And I know it’s hard right now, but you are so strong David. You can do this, I promise you.”

“Thanks… you know I love you, right?” David asked, teary-eyed.

“How could you not?”

They both chuckled.

“Sorry for being such a grumpy arse today.” David apologised.

“Don’t worry about it, love.”

        After they made up, David and Georgia did the washing up together. It was how they worked; always pulling through as a team. He washed and she dried; although this was only because whenever it  was the other way around, Georgia would blow the bubbles in his face and he didn’t want the washing up liquid to ruin his hair. 

“I know!” Georgia shrieked, causing David to jump and drop the plate he was holding back into the water, making a huge splash.        

“What the fuck?” David shouted, startled

“Oi, language! Young ears about, David.” Georgia gave him a stern, warning look before continuing. “Why don’t you just actually kiss? If you do it once people might stop asking. Talk to Billie about it.”

“What? You can’t be serious.”

“Yeah, it’s not like you don’t kiss anyone else, is it? You’re always kissing people for work and you’ve kissed Billie a few times already… It’s only Billie.”

“No, that was different. That was the Doctor kissing Rose Tyler, this will be David Tennant kissing Billie Piper!”

“Yeah, yeah. That’s what they all say.” Georgia quipped with a wink.

“Georgia, please take this seriously,” he whined

“I am! I just think it might get people to shut up about it. Run it past Billie. I don't mind. And I certainly wouldn't be complaining it if I were you! Being given a free pass to kiss Billie, she’s gorgeous!”

David just looked at his wife, dumbfounded and she burst into giggles.

        An hour later, Georgia and David had put the brood to bed and were sat on the sofa, cuddling. In the morning, he’d be flying out for the convention.

“Did you call Billie?” Georgia asked.

“Oh, no. I’ll do it now.”

“Put it on loudspeaker.”

David scrolled through his contacts until he got to Billie. She picked up on the third ring, having seen ‘Teninch’ flash across her screen.

“Alright, Teninch?” Billie asked down the phone.

“Hello, Billie. DT here.”

“I know… I literally just said.”

“Right, yes. Anyway, my lovely wife is here with me and she has a bit of an odd request.”

Oh, god. What is it?” Billie moaned.

“Hey, Billie. It’s me, Georgia!”

“Hi, George! What’s this odd request of yours then?”

“It’s not so much of a request as it is a suggestion. I was just talking to David about some of the things you get asked at conventions and he mentioned how you quite often are asked to kiss.”

“Yeah…”

“Well, why don't you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“I’m just thinking that maybe if you gave them what they wanted they’d give up asking.”

“Georgia that idea is… _brilliant!”_

        Thirty minutes later the plan was in place and David went to bed with Georgia. They both wore smiles throughout the night.

In the morning, David kissed each of his children goodbye, saving his wife for last. Ty wished him luck, Wilfred planted a sloppy kiss on David’s lips and Olive drew him a picture to remind him of her, as if he could ever forget. Georgia gave him a final kiss goodbye before he walked out of the door. There may be a kiss with another woman before his return, but Georgia didn't mind, knowing he would be coming back to her.

 

***

  
        The morning of the convention was a whirlwind for them both. David’s plane was late and Billie was tired after an exhausting week. They bumped into each other in the VIP area and pulled each other into a bear hug.

“I’m sorry about…”

“Yeah. Yeah, it sucks. And I’m sorry about…”

“Yeah. I’m okay though. Really, I’m good.”

Nothing more needed saying. They pulled away from each other and grinned. Billie looked David up and down, arching an eyebrow.

“Looking dapper, Mr. Tennant.”

“As do you, Miss Piper, I _love_ the dungarees.”

They didn’t even get the chance for a catch-up and a coffee, however, before they were posing for photographs with excited fans.

An hour of laughs and camera flashes later and they were walking out on stage in front of deafening screams and blinding lights.

It was only a few minutes in when it happened. They saw it coming. It was the overdone ‘sexy version’ of the Rose 50’s dress cosplay. It was the sashay of her hips and the smug, predatory look on her face as she sauntered up to the mic. Billie was already wincing beside him before the fan even got her question out.

But it’s okay because this time, this time, they were ready for it.

“I know every Whovian has their favourite moment on the show,” she began snidely, “mine’s on my shirt.”

“What’s on your shirt?” David asked, grinning slightly. He damn well _knew_ the answer already. The game was afoot.

“It’s you and Billie kissing,” she shouted excitedly. She had them. Or so she thought. The crowd whooped and Billie nodded slightly. _Here we go_.

“Ah. Which time, because it happened loads!?” David was playing his part perfectly.

“You could obliterate that moment by indulging us now for 3 seconds--” the rest of the girl’s question was lost in the sounds of the crowd either screaming or groaning.

Game on. Billie stared at the girl with a look of faux-horror on her face while David turned to look at Billie, his face the perfect picture of ‘gob-smacked’.

 _“_ You want us to make out?

“There are kids here,” exclaimed the (very unhelpful) moderator, as if _that_ was the reason this question was morally reprehensible.

“We have children,” Billie inputted, unable to stop grinning, finding the whole situation both bizarre and hilarious.

“Not with each other!” David added.

“That would be uncomfortable,” Billie said.

“I have a wife!” David exclaimed.

“A lovely wife, who is also a very good friend of mine, and who is currently sat at home taking care of your four beautiful children. Isn’t that right David?”

“That’s right, Billie.”

“And you want him to just turn around and plant a smacker on me because of a scene that happened a decade ago?”

“Err-” said the girl, suddenly unsure of herself.

“Well, it seems like a perfectly reasonable request to me,” David said sarcasm dripping off his tongue.

“How can we not, really?” Billie shrugged.

David turned to face Billie and placed his hands on either side of her face. He paused briefly to give her a theatrical wink and she smiled back at him before puckering up her lips. He steeled himself for just a second before leaning in and kissing her hard on the lips.

They were both experts at on-screen-kisses, they both had plenty of practice, and they knew _exactly_ how to make it look real. The sounds of gasps, screams and murmurs rose around them as they pretended to deepen the kiss. They twisted their heads this way and that without ever opening their mouths and Billie moved her hands to tangle in David’s hair, not to spur him on but because she knew it would wind him up.

Finally they broke apart, trying to control their giggles so as not to give the game away. Composing himself, David turned back to the girl, fixing her with a sombre stare.

“Is that the sort of thing you were after?” he asked.

The girl just stared, frozen solid, her glossy, over-painted lips agape.

“Did it meet your standards?” Billie quizzed.

“Perhaps you could give it a score out of 10?” David dead-panned.

“I reckon it was a solid 8.” Billie was having trouble keeping her face straight at this point and not for the first time, marvelled at David’s superior acting skills.

“Or rank it? Personally, I felt it was better than our _New new Earth_ kiss, but not as good as _Journey’s End.”_

The girl still couldn’t find her voice and was positively squirming at this point. So much so that Billie almost felt sorry for her. _Almost._

“Now, since she’s the one who so _desperately_ wanted to see us kiss, I can’t help but feel like she should be the one to explain this to the _lovely_ Mrs. Tennant, don’t you think David?” Billie said evenly.

David nodded slowly, as if considering this.

“Yeah, yep. I suppose so. Hang on a second, I’ll just give her a call…” He pulled out his phone, waved it in the air in the girl’s direction and started dialling a number.

With that the girl burst into hysterical tears, spun on her heels and fled, her pink taffeta dress floating behind her.

David slung an arm over Billie’s shoulder and squeezed her close for a brief side-hug. They looked at each other and grinned widely. David winked at her and she stuck her tongue out back at him.

“Victory at last,” he smiled.

**

A week later they were back in London, hanging out in Tennant-Towers with the kids, having that long overdue coffee. The older kids were engrossed in a dressing up game which had an increasingly intricate plot and the baby was curled up fast asleep on David’s knee. Georgia had her laptop perched in her lap and David and Billie were sat either side of her, watching the screen as they read through endless comments and analysis of their St Louis antics, breathless with laughter.

“Oh, I feel _mean_ now!” David lamented. “We’ve really put the cat amongst the pigeons here.” Georgia gave her caring, sensitive husband a pat on the knee.

“I wouldn’t worry about it love,” she soothed. “Matt won’t let you guys steal the limelight for long, I bet he’ll be snogging Alex next week.” They all fell about laughing again.

“Anyway David,” Billie added, wiping tears of mirth from her face, “we’re Slytherin remember! We’re allowed to be a little bit evil from time to time.”

David looked from his wife to his friend and shrugged, waggling his eyebrows and giving them his best evil-Killgrave-smile.

“Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends, those cunning folk use any means, to meet their real end.”

Billie and Georgia fell  into hysterics once again at his geekiness.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” Billie gasped through her laughter, “how did you _ever_ find someone to marry you?”

David pouted playfully but couldn’t help the grin creeping onto his face. He slid an arm around his wife and kissed her on the cheek.

“Just lucky I guess.”

Billie smiled at them before resting her own head against Georgia’s shoulder and sighing contently. A comfortable silence came over the room for a few moments.

“Seriously though,” David interrupted. “We need to put out like a tweet or something....”


End file.
